Ok, over my awe-struckness now It's a bloody funny story, Very scary to have a huge wild pig charging at you....you musta shit youself!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
You guys (non gender specific) are masters.... Who else could turn a perfecly reasonable thread about 'Where to buy chickens in victoria' into a discussion about shit eating pigs.... :lol: :lol:
I'm afraid I don't have any fluff to contribute at the moment. It hasn't been a very fluff generating day considering I spent most of it trying to make head or tails of this forum. Tam
And People say I try to hog the lime light and talk shit Tezza I just bet Heretic is loving this thread :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
Did I tell you the one about when my mum was having a pee in the bushes?........ Tam note: edited to catch up with the topic at hand.
As I mentioned before, the information I referred to was published in the Christmas edition of the Diggers Club catalogue. The author's opinion does not necessarily mirror my own views but I thought that the information may have been of interest to others. Tam
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I submit, for your review of the facts in this twisting case, exhibit A (shuffling of papers, the attorney for the Plaintiff, Pw Cw is in a poorly fitting suit, feeling a bit uncomfortable, unable to breath with the tie on....) I think the evidence states in BLACK AND WHITE that, in fact, Tullymoor DID suggest pigs eating shit sandwiches!..... To back up this evidence, I subpeona Cornonthecobs testimony earlier in response to the plaintiffs hope to set the record straight, exhibit B: I think between the compelling record of Exhibits A&B, that we have adequately settled the question, relegating this baseless accusation to the compost bin of history, where it belongs! We may not agree with the concept, we may find feeding pigs shit sandwiches distasteful, even disgusting. We may accept that some people practice close looped nutrient cycyling, even as we would not. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, all of our feelings on the subject are largely irrelevent. What matters here is that the record be set straight. I think that we have proved, beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt, that, in fact, the whole pig eating shit digression was seeded by the very woman accusing the plaintiff, Queen Tullymoor, herself! Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, if we allow these sordid types of baseless attackers to occur, these nasty character assasinations, then we, as a society are guilty of indifference, guilty of looking the other way as grave injustices are perpetrated against, well, ahem, mostly innocent people. I say that you have an obligation to make justice in this case, to clear Christopher of these horrid accusations, and to force Tullymoor to make restitution! (slams table for dramatic affect... stops, looks at floor, waits a moment before resuming speech...) Restoring Christophers sterling reputation will be easy. The facts are there for all to see, and I think that the evidence is overwhelming. It is not like the record has been edited, yet (like Tam and Joel did last night, depriving Pw Cw of a hoot when they modified their posts), and as you see in exhibit A, the facts are right there, in fact Tullymoor did start out with the whole pigs eating shit digression (pause....), but what we are talking about now is how to help Christopher recover from the suffering this has caused him, the sleepless nights, the shame of being thought the one to come up with this low brow, lower chakra pig eating shit humour. We demand (slams table again, steely voiced) RESTITUTION! We respectfully request that Tullymoor send Pw Cw 100 grams of coffee, to make a cuppa. Your honour, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we rest our case. (New voice, Judge Christopher presiding...) I have to say that in all my many minutes on the bench, never have I seen such a spiteful and malignant accusation against an innocent person. The facts are plain to see, and this should have been settled out of court. I order the jury to find for the Plaintiff, witth punitive damages of 100 grams of coffee. I stipulate that it must be dark roast and whole bean. (gavel comes down with a whacking noise) (looking at the jury, we see 12 Christophers, with a few in blackface and a couple in drag) The ayes have it. We find for the Plaintiff. (Reporter with microphone, looks alot like Christopher with a hat on...) So, tell us Christopher, what's next for you? "I just have to say, thank you to the judge and the jury. This nightmare is finally over. I had complete faith in the justice system locked inside my fertile imagination. It feels great to be exhonerated of this awful charge" Reporter: Christopher, do you have any message for Tullymoor? "Yes, yes, I do.... (sigh) Tullymoor, when you made these accusations against me, I felt wounded, hurt, saddened that you would willingly pin the origin of the pigs-eatin'-shit digression on me in an attempt to save your own reputation.... I still feel wounded, especially considering the depth of my feelings for you :love7: . But I know that your shenanigans fooled no one, that we are now past all of this, and from a place of radical forgiveness, I forgive you!" Reporter: Christopher, that sure is big of you. "I know, I'm just like that some times.... I'm a very forgiving Nong....." Reporter: Tullymoor, do you have any comments?
Ok,Ok, I admit it WAS ME!! I don't see why you felt the need to take it to the courts CWISTOFERS, we could have found a way to settle this amicably, together, couldn't we??Over a coffee?? I'm so embarassed, my family are shamed and in hiding ...they've been recieving threatening phone calls and letters. Subway have even released a brand new low joule product based on this fiasco. The media hunt us down day and night, we get no peace. No peace at all. If I send you the coffee will you call them off? Make some sort of a public announcement on my behalf? That I have paid my restitution, made ammends, am remorseful???Please?? Give me your address :axe: and I'll send the coffee, I promise.