Some days I could just kick the shit out of everything and give up. Today has started out one of those days. Luckily I had some old gourds to take my frustrations out on. I've been really diligent about my seedlings this year and they were really starting to look good, some ready to go out in the next week. This morning I found a pile of possum shit and a great swathe cut through the seedlings. I was furious! No amount of meditation was going to cure this one. I had to just experience the moment, observe the anger, feel the depression, come in here and have a good whine. To be honest I don't even feel like going out there again today, I'm not sure I can deal with this anymore. Clearly my system is just crap. Snails, slugs, mice, possums all manner of natural pressures resisting my desire to do this a certain way. The plan was to do this without money and gradually improve the system. But I still have to grow food. The problem is, I just don't think I can make it work out here. I just don't have the skills; the emotional intelligence to create the community around us that we clearly need. And this is why I think permaculture is not going to save us in time - it's too hard for the average Joe and Josephine. It's the difference between theory and reality. I'm screwed.