Permaculture prejudice - how do you deal with it?

[Michaelangelica]

People will believe what they want to believe
Everyone's view of "reality' is different.
is it important what they think?
i agree with other posters, lot of good sense there (esp eco) just get on with it

She moves to a different drummer.
Nobody tells the truth like she can
She moves to a different drummer
She's in time, she don't lie
Different Drummer, Different Drummer
Different Drummer, Different Drummer

[Grahame]

Hi Indigofera,

I guess I've always been a little weird, so the changes were not so sudden and challenging for the folks around me. But there was a time when I was a typical Australian social drinker, and a reasonable drinker at that. In some ways it was part of who I was. Then after a series of personal changes and a bit of a transformation I stopped drinking. It was pretty challenging for friends, eventually I just drifted away from some that couldn't deal with the change. Others realised I was serious about it and accepted it.

If I were you I would take a different view of things, rather than thinking that they are not accepting of you, perhaps you could take a stance of compassion. The very ideas you are now living are in complete and total contrast to the way they see themselves and their universe. By rejecting all of this, subconsciously they are feeling as though you are rejecting them and everything they believe in. In some ways you become a mirror that shows them a very ugly side of themselves, a reflection that they simply cannot look upon. I once heard Deepak Chopra telling a story about a conventional doctor he knew who had trouble accepting any of his alternative views, because it challenged everything he believed in. Deepak asked him what would happen if he found out that it was all real. The doctor said he would die, it was just not possible for him to assimilate it.

People have a very real difficulty when all of there beliefs are challenged, it feels to the human organism as if its very existence is challenged. In some ways you are dismantling their universe. The enlightened must be very gentle with the heavy.

Chapter 27 of the Tao Te Ching, Translation by Stephen Mitchell...

A good traveler has no fixed plans
and is not intent upon arriving.
A good artist lets his intuition
lead him wherever it wants.
A good scientist has freed himself of concepts
and keeps his mind open to what is.

Thus the Master is available to all people
and doesn't reject anyone.
He is ready to use all situations
and doesn't waste anything.
This is called embodying the light.

What is a good man but a bad man's teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man's job?
If you don't understand this, you will get lost,
however intelligent you are.
It is the great secret.

[Ludi]

If you enjoy your friends for who they are, perhaps you can at least tolerate some of their activities in order to be with them. If they enjoy you for who you are, they will want to support you (at least passively) in your new interests. If these things are not true, if you do not mutually enjoy each other's company, are you really friends at all?

Most metropolitan areas seem to have some kinds of sustainable living/green/nature-loving etc meetup groups and clubs, which you might look into if you have a means of transportation. If you're geographically isolated away from a large town or city, it can be much harder to find new friends.

[eco4560]

My dad has taken to telling his friends that I have caught a fatal virus called Permaculture. I take it as a compliment that he can see that it is making a difference in my life. I too garden a lot. And give excess food to friends and family. Even if they think I'm weird they never say no to a pumpkin or a hand of bananas.

I'm happy being me. Bugger anyone else who thinks I'm weird! You may be able to grow a community around you - if you don't hide your light under a bushel other 'weird' people find their way into your life.

[indigofera]

Thanks again everyone for your kind words and advice. You are all special and wonderful people!

The concept of "Just get on with it" as a few of you have mentioned is what I have been doing (without pushing it onto others), however that seems to be causing the conflict and unpleasantness that I am trying to avoid - I was more looking for suggestions from people who may have figured out how to make the transition to being a permie a more smooth one when confronted by prejudice and ridicule. But don't worry, I will continue to "get on with it", and will be true to myself as best I can!

Ludi - I agree with you on your advice regarding friendships, and whether they are real or not. I guess family is probably my bigger concern, as I said in a previous post - you can choose your friends but not your family!

Grahame - Thank you sooooo much for your story and sharing such a personal experience. Your comments struck a chord with me. I recently read a book of interviews with the Dalai Lama. He suggested that in all life's struggles, compassion is the key to overcoming them and the negative emotions that accompany them (which I think is a general Buddhist approach to life?). I found this concept quite appealing, but the book didn't really explain how you find compassion for people who are just downright mean and nasty though! Reading your words just connected the dots for me. And I guess this comes back to other people's suggestions (they just worded it differently) where they suggested I adjust my reactions and attitude. The buddhist approach takes it one step to further to adjust your reactions and attitude, but not to suit yourself and exclude others, but to try and develop an understanding of WHY people act the way they do, and show compassion for them. Thank you!

[indigofera]

Eco - A fatal virus? That's very funny, and you should take it as a compliment! I have tried giving excess food to friends and family, and they usually take it. But then you visit them a week later and they haven't used it and throw it in landfill (or I take it home to the chooks!). I can't bear the waste!

I will shine my permie light, and try and attract more of us "weird" people. Good idea!

[Pakanohida]

Eco - A fatal virus? That's very funny, and you should take it as a compliment! I have tried giving excess food to friends and family, and they usually take it. But then you visit them a week later and they haven't used it and throw it in landfill (or I take it home to the chooks!). I can't bear the waste!

I will shine my permie light, and try and attract more of us "weird" people. Good idea!

I gave a dozen eggs from my free range organically happy lil chooks to my neighbor because he bought bacon that day. He still hasn't had his bacon and eggs 2 weeks later, so believe me, I understand where we are all coming from.

[annette]

Yep, but if and when the shit hits the fan, guess whose doors they will be knocking on!)

[mischief]

Sorry, I never intended for you to feel that-I dont think you are opinionated or defensive at all.

[Grahame]

My dad has taken to telling his friends that I have caught a fatal virus called Permaculture. I take it as a compliment that he can see that it is making a difference in my life. I too garden a lot. And give excess food to friends and family. Even if they think I'm weird they never say no to a pumpkin or a hand of bananas.

It is like a virus Eco. You catch it and it attacks your DNA, it changes you. It really can alter your perception and if your perception is altered then in effect you become a different person. This is why it is difficult for people to accept it, because you are no longer a comfortable part of their universal furniture - they have to shuffle the chairs around to fit a new person into their lives. And to them it is a new person who really doesn't understand their views. The new person just doesn't fit. YET. But, every hand of bananas, every pumpkin works its way into their lives. Next thing, they are eating your home made strawberry jam, and no other strawberry jam will do.

if you don't hide your light under a bushel other 'weird' people find their way into your life.

Exactly. Perhaps (and I'm only asking you to explore this Indigofera) you haven't yet accepted your own permacultural self. At least not in it's entirety. I once had a great man (I consider him a guru of mine in the true sense of the word) explain to me that if I felt people weren't respecting my skills or knowledge, or they weren't 'listening' to me then all that really meant was that I was not respecting myself and my own skills and knowledge and that I was not listening to myself.

The universe is a mirror.